I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Boobs speak an international language.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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