You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
