I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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