Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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