Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
