I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
