its not stalking. its research.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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