It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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