Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
