I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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