Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
