I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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