porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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