he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
