Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
