jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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