im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
