DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
