He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
