where am i from again
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
