Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i out mim tonsoeep
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