I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
im having a threesome with these popsicles
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
