Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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