We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
