I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
