I hate your face
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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