i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
