The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
