and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
