the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
