And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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