I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
