yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Did I show you my penis last night?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
