we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I have post one night stand depression
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
