it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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