i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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