so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
