Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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