4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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