shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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