...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
