Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
