I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
