so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
