how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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