Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
