Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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