And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
