So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize