so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
