i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You're like the curious george of whores
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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