i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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