It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
