Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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