someone threw a dead crab at me
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
