So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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