I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
