just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
