So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize