$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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