i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
