So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
