I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
