She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
