Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
