How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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