Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize