Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize