note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
