Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
