Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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