I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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