Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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