Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize