Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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