I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
