You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
