Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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