No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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