Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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