i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
