You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
