I heard we made out
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
