My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
