What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
my poor anus
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
